Wondering

many hands

 I've been thinking quite a bit lately about the Rachel Carson quote in my last post. I've been mulling things over that will start spilling out into this space soon. But this morning I am going to be a companion instead of writing about being one. We're off to the library!

I'll leave you with a tiny glimpse into how we spent some of our time together last week...

 

 

 

 

 
 

offerings

I knew the minute I laid my eyes on them that they were for me. I knew who went out in the cold, picked them, brought them in and placed them in the mason jar and gave them a big drink of cold water. I knew his eyes would light up when I asked, "are those for me?" I knew some effort went into bringing in the beauty because it wasn't just the blossoms. Blooms; stems, some broken; leaves, some crushed; and a tangled mess of roots, dirt on no less... I want to give these kind of love offerings...giving all I have at the moment...even if it doesn't seem enough...and when I feel broken or crushed to stop and love anyway...

"Mom, these flowers are for you..." His voice trailing off...eyes and heart waiting...for me to accept his offering... and I smile. Then he smiles. And we hug. Acceptance. Love.

"Mom, look at this!"

"Are they rocks?"

"No, they're pieces of brick!"

"What bricks?"

"Those out there..."

"Did you break them on purpose?" And that's when I see it. The shiny eyes so full of wonder grow dim... and it breaks my heart...thank you Lord for breaking my heart...

And what my Dad would say is that I changed my tune...

They are, after all, just bricks.

First a smile, then, "Show me."

And he does...and the colors are beautiful... and I wonder when, exactly, did I lose my sense of wonder...

I've been thinking so much about this kind of thing lately.

 If a child is to keep his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement, and mystery of the world we live in.   Rachel Carson

 

  

  

 

under construction

If you're stopping by from Ashley's blog you should know that my I'm working on tweaking things here and there on my blog. Thanks for your patience and I hope you'll stop by again soon! I'll leave you with a few images from a very lovely Tuesday...

the creek behind the building where my children study kung fu

we were waiting for the boys to finish kung fu and sam took off his flip flops, looked out the window and said, "i want to go out side and run on the grass wiff my bare feet!" so, of course, we did!

one happy boy

 
beautiful reflection

summer's end

I spent just a few minutes this evening messing around with Poladroid (via Ashley). I've been wanting to get my hands on some film for my vintage Polaroid. This will do in the meantime. 

 
 

oh my

I just told my kids, "We ARE NOT circus freaks! Calm down!"

I need caffeine. I don't know where my coffee grinder is. My kitchen wall has a big gaping hole in it.

It's a mess in there. It's crazy here. I'm loading up the van and taking the kiddos to the

StarbucksthatisinsideBarnesandNoble.

I'm really a Dutch Bros. girl, but there is no

DutchBrosthatisinabookstore.

Dutch Bros. are in little huts where you drive through and do not have to get out of your car.

I love not having to get out of the car. With. Seven. Children.

I need to smell books. And coffee. At the same time. And my three year old needs to visit the Thomas the Tank Engine table. So, off we go.

monday's list

Today I am grateful for...

17. hot cocoa scented shower gel

18. two year old "swimming" in the tub

19. all of us at the dinner table

20. guacamole

21. two big nine year old smiles at kung fu

22. ice water with lemon

23. bedtime hugs

24. children's voices singing the doxology...loudly

25. being called mom...a hundred times a day

26. green eyes with blonde eyelashes

rainy days

muttering

My blog is my homepage. I thought that would help motivate me to blog more consistently. And, well, six weeks later, I'm no more consistent than I was before. And that's pretty much my life these days. Inconsistent. Good intentions. Not much follow through. It's been that way for two years. Since my dad's death I've felt as if I've come undone. It hurts. It hurts worse today than the day he died. He was a stronger presence in my life than I realized. Boy, can't you just hear Bette Midler singing Wind Beneath My Wings right now. Ick. Not that I don't like Bette Midler. She has a great voice. But that song. Maybe it's just that anything that gets played eighty times a day on the radio is destined to make people sick. I'm now officially rambling. I'm writing about my dad's death and Bette Midler in the same paragraph. If my husband was here he would tell me to relax and focus. He is good at those things. I am not. And so, for two years, I have been an impatient, sad, irritable mess. Don't you just love writing the truth about yourself? It's one thing to know it, but another to put it out there for people to read. I'm not worried though. I think three people read my blog. Two of them live here. They already know I'm a mess.  So today I went thumbing through the Psalms, desperate for comfort. And I found myself muttering things under my breath...from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge...so will I ever sing praises to your name...for God alone my soul waits in silence, from Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress, I shall not be greatly shaken...trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us...these are not the things I have been muttering, breathing out, chewing on for the last two years. But I have the words of life at my disposal.

Lord, be glorified in my mourning and my dancing, my grief and my joy, my tears and my laughter...

goodies

Two of my favorite blogs are having giveaways. Lip gloss with a story behind it? Yep. Go check it out at V and Co. Need some new jewelry? Or a tutu for your little one? Check 'em out at Cakies.  

days like this

When five out of the six children in your home are sick it is pretty safe to say you've had better days. Pleasant days. Fun days. Days without so much movie watching. Days without any movie watching. Days when your two year old didn't start crying at every. little. thing. Conversations like this make life (even the sick days) much better: 

Sam the two year old holding a can of pineapple up to me:

Mom, can I have some apple pie?

Me:

Yes, Sam, you can have some pineapple.

Sam:

Tanks!

Sam:

Mom, you fixed my boo-boo?

Me:

Yes, Sam, I did.

Sam:

Tanks!

Me:

You're welcome.

Sam:

You're a nice mom!

Smiles all around. Me. Sam. And the sick fourteen year old making tuna salad. Life is good even on the sick days. Thank you, Lord.